On 15 defebrero the deadline for the writers (those guys who "live off the subsidies") present our development projects feature film script, in order to qualify for grants from the MINISTRY of Culture.
The thing is that you present a) a synopsis of the movie you want to write, b) treatm sequencing of the story, c) a decent curriculum, d) a document briefly explain why this project deserves to be funded and clearly that you have in your head, etc..
If you are one of fifteen lucky bastards elected by the ministry, receive a grant of 40,000 euros that will solve life for a while. A good season in which (at least in theory) can afford to give up other jobs to lock yourself in your house to make that "draft script" in a dash of truth.
Anyway, fairly recently I had an idea for a feature film that I found interesting. I shared with a few people, some of them told me basically that these grants should be submitted to the ministry. Because it is a story that is basically "meat subsidy." It has everything: the political, social burden, with baited hooks for fishing bait actors, low budget, fertile ground for a possible international co-production.
has never been easier to get grants of this kind, and I never I had the luck (or skill) needed when it comes to awards, grants or competitions. But I think my friends are right. If you've ever had an eligible project, it probably is.
So here I was, doing rundowns and banging the keyboard trying to write something coherent before 15 February.
But I can not.
Why?
I have spent several days trying to find the cause. Fear of failure? Fear of success? "Tired? "Ineptitude?
do not think so ...
I have most of the story in my head. Folios just need to transcribe what I have in the Seseras, if perhaps a couple holes to fill ...
Maybe discourages me to perceive the fact that easy? Absence of challenge? Bored? Did my unconscious, an expert in sabotage itself, not welcomed as much "comfort"?
I have thought much about it, I referred to in the mirror trying to dispense with any kind of "filter" or preconceived idea. And I concluded that my block is emotional.
Every time I put the project in question, whenever I can feel the energy project bothers me, I listen to myself and when you hear a car failed to find "where the hell is that small noise. "And in my case the little sound comes from the heart.
acknowledge that little sound because, in essence, is the same I've heard on other occasions, when either by money, by contract or by various manipulations, I have" forced "to act against my principles.
Suddenly I realize that I was not motivated by the project. It excites me. I admit that I was excited when I saw it, but then the concept was lost purity, became contaminated, perhaps it was deformed to fit into our world ... I do not know! One begins to make concessions without realizing it, and end up writing for others, without knowing exactly who these "others." Nobody pays you to do so. Nobody tells you what you have to capture on paper. But somehow, one day you realize that history has ceased to come from your heart. Now do not write from the inside out, but "out" to the paper, or to the form of grant whore.
I left the project. At least for now.
I find it very sad to invest my time in a story only because there is a "remote possibility but less remote than usual," it is eligible.
I know that may sound like a Pharisee speech, "this is throwing flipao roll." But I assure you I'm serious. Write honest I do not think it "could be subsidized." Why Why?
Because I do not believe in subsidies .
I believe that our subsidies are designed as are the English audiovisual cancer. Close more doors that open. Promote conservatism. Favor inbreeding.
And here I was, swinging on that opinion as categorical grants and, nevertheless, striving to be subsidized. Barking at the hand that feeds me and then lick it when I offered her lunch leftovers. Suddenly I snetí like those "comeflores" who addressed anti-globalization and pro-Greenpeace as they put their shoes sewn Converse Taiwanese children on a table shabby Malasaña a den in which they feel very gustito because they put the heating on full blast.
And like me, so many others. Many people who disagree with these policies and with those systems, but nevertheless agree and bow their heads and beg with their tails between their legs.
"Because of the subsidies do not really have an industry in this country," they say. And as I say, are extending a trembling hand and insecure to "daddy state" if they like a bit of loose change. Then the excuse that "we must fight the system from within." And a dick! That in two of every three cases, cheap excuse, such as "I control tranqui" of alcoholics and premature ejaculation.
I think I belong to a generation of people who still can be considered young, and yet those of my generation still dancing to the stale and accommodating criteria of previous generations. Never mind that the "young" come with new ideas and energy in abundance. Science has been responsible for increasing life expectancy and the operability of the other people who were "cool" thirty years ago.
That yes, the experience of "older" is invaluable, and this world should offer a council of elders each twenty meters. But the audiovisual sector is renewing a dizzy speed that even the thirtysomethings like me. I remember reading in Bloguionistas an appointment Joaquín Oristrell that shocked me. He said the main problem of our profession is that we age, but the public always has fifteen years.
But to return to the heart of the matter: We dare not change things. Maybe it's the increase in employment longevity of the "obsolete." Maybe it's because we are a generation that, in general, has been dormant too easy and has the fighting instinct. Face it: 90% of us (even the most unfortunate) life more than our ancestor settled fifteen, twenty, thirty years. And that comfort us anesthesia.
We complained in our comments on Facebook, with small mouth, and then not do anything to change our situation. Follow the yellow brick caminito imposed on us, without trying to get out of line. We complain about the inadequacy of the grants, the injustice of the minimum wage, trade unions and the lack thereof.
but do nothing about it.
And see that in the case of audiovisual have it fairly easy!
In times of the French Revolution had to resort to the guillotine Shaving and irreversible. Today, thanks to new technologies, we have mechanisms much simpler and more peaceful (at least at first sight). We youtube (and internet in general), which is the American dream of this new global village. We have in house digital cameras offer a quality that they would have wanted for himself Truffaut, Goddard or Lars Von Triers. We have computers that can do real magic that James Cameron would have been scared shitless to twenty years ago.
We have all the ingredients to come together and do different things. Things to say implicitly: "This is the voice of a new generation. We are courageous people. We are not stagnant dinosaurs ever. "We can spread our works free of charge, and what is now published on the net I can see a few seconds a certain Lars in Denmark and a certain Sazuke in Japan.
know many talented writers (half of them are eating boogers.) filmmakers I know unemployed who could shoot well Alatriste triple what was shot and the third of the budget. I know people can do, without leaving your own bedroom best special effects and best soundtracks to many others who charge big bucks to do crap. I know producers who (believe it or not) have an open mind, they feel a genuine love for the seventh art.
If all these people would join if all these people formed a "Team A", each specializing in what he does best, perhaps many things would be different.
But many of those people, if you offer any bold initiative, will tell you things like, "Oh, that's not profitable", or "That's not what you subsidize or God" or "not worth it."
matter how much talent we have new generations. Whether you have the F1 motor of Fernando Alonso. Because they lack fuel. They lack the enthusiasm. We have had a couple of lies and have believed. Because it is very comfortable believing the lies. It is very easy to bet on a mantra that you are resulmen inviting to just sit on your couch and do nothing. So treat us this society dust century spared in exchange for a mediocre blowjob. But boy, the feeding does not require any effort. You stay lying on the couch, and I will squeeze the semen and then invest in the bag without giving anything in return.
And then there are the ashes and frustrated. Those people who do not get things because it does not fit, or because he has not done enough. People who do not feel comfortable savoring his failure alone, and thus sowing the world the same message of skepticism and disappointment for those who come after desist in their attempts to get what they want. Vampires illusions trying to attract others to their slew of shit, mumbling a song siren Bajonero toothless.
I will confess that lately I feel like I'm waking up (too slowly) from a very long dream of several years. Try again to find myself after accepting too many "lies" (or, rather, too many "half truths") Try to start slowly collar "Danny the Dog." I think I have tamed. Pure Pavlovian behaviorism. Through awards and shock, the first bland enough not to compensate, the second mild enough not to wake me. I am aware
that probably would not be writing an entry as "reactionary" if not collected by an unusual environment in our "visual scene" lately. Within a month we have attended two controversies related to a couple of important filmmakers of our country and their twitters. Such controversies do not have much relationship with this post, but hell! make you think, make you rethink what kind of country do you live, and to what extent we do not have some "guilt" that things are as they are. I just hope that, just how the events of recent days I've been invited to self-criticism to me, do the same with people who can spread their opinions more powerful than it can afford this humble homespun blog.
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