Digging in the storage room on my hard drive I found things I wrote long ago. Testimonials from those Paleolithic eras in which instead of being a "writer" to be played.
Sometimes I have the feeling that, but now has more office, once had more power. A power almost adolescent, since there is no better fuel than the naive illusion.
I have come here wanting to hang one of the gazillion stories that I just re-discover forgotten folders. I wrote 11 years ago and published it in this post, not daring to read it, because if I give to reread the literary style seem so frightening that I would eventually refuse to share.
So I leave here (for the "enjoyment? More patient readers) is the rough work as it was conceived by the post-adolescent nerd and beginner more than a decade began to take seriously that writing, not knowing that there was still a long way to go (a long road that I have the feeling of not having traveled or even the thousandth part though, despite this, I'm sooo tired now ...)
Vale! I'll shut up! Here's the story:
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TRAVEL TO THE ENDS OF A TEAR
At school, when his teammates could hardly read, he already knew the mechanisms that operate at Mother Nature, and as he grew up, swallowed the contents with great avidity of all the books and treatises that came his way, so that the surprise adolescence, all the pores of your skin bursting learning, and teachers of the institute, instead of teaching, learning from him.
At one time he thought he had such knowledge be sure to know everything. "Life has no secrets from me", I thought ... and the people around him felt the same. There was no phenomenon that could not explain. His neighbors came to him often to tell unexplained events that someone else would have put the willies ... But he Scientific Method and draws his dissecting the mysteries of life if they were mice.
Thanks to Mathematics and Statistics decided the exact age at which he was to marry and procedures to follow to achieve this goal with precision. Developed a physical and psychological profile of women who, in his experiments and musings, it suited him. Then carried out thorough research to know which places and contexts were higher the chances of finding a woman who responded to all the factors required. And he found ...
He married her on schedule and the right time, and after weeks of marital cohabitation he had recorded in his notebook up as "testing time", concluded that success had smiled in their experiment, because it felt happy and all the circumstances seemed to indicate that he loved his wife.
then and through similar procedures, decided how many children had to have, on what dates and how gender (as this man knew well how to control the sex of children). His wife obeyed always in these things, because I loved him ... and so had two sons and a daughter born with one and three years apart, respectively.
So, five years after his marriage failed to score in his notebook that he wanted his children enormously and drew graphs that showed how complicated grew placidity of her life and the emotional satisfaction that reported theirs.
educated his children with the righteousness of a manual of applied psychology, he knew very well the steps that had to go to become good people, with the necessary dose of happiness. Always used chemical and biological knowledge to feed the right way and get your family might enjoy perfect health ...
His life ultimately turned out to be something like a giant experiment, and once it clarified the gaps of human knowledge and wore away the imperfections of science, his lab produced from their own happiness, without allow any factor of his life escape their control and lead to problems, unhappiness, imbalances, imbalances ... and all its neighbors and friends, all those people who envied and revered at the same time, it was seen that, indeed, I was getting.
But one day when the years had begun to dye his temples with the silver of maturity, his wife and children started their trip to visit relatives, and jumped on a plane not return to land.
So the experiment failed and our man was lonely and dejected. He began to notice that the gears of the machinery of his Happiness no longer fit. The absence of his family life was something I was not ready. Began to feel a strange uneasiness that haunted him every day and every night, every hour, every minute, every second ... The weather became unbearable longer than objectively showed their clocks accurate laboratory. When he slept he had nightmares that vainly tried to interpret their ideas of Freudian psychology ... He broke his notebook, he stopped eating at the times provided for therein, neglected his personal hygiene and, despite knowing that it was appropriate to devote a thirty-seven percent of their time to social life, would not see anyone. He walked around the room of his house destroyed, lost in his torment, his shirt dirty and sweaty forehead ... and sometimes caught himself on a sofa crying bitterly, saying the name of his wife and remembering the smile of your children.
He and many days. The precise clocks in the house were scored by one by one, but he did not realize. Finally, the remains of his rope scientific attitude prevailed over their grief, and our man decided to self-examination with proper cleanliness to establish the true causes of his illness and find a remedy. I was hoping to be going through a temporary discomfort. He had controlled his destiny since he can remember, and was not willing to give up at that time.
returned to visit their books, designed diagrams, listed assumptions ... but failed to explain nothing. Their anguish was not to be portrayed, his unhappiness is not off from him, his nightmares were not to be understood ... and just when I thought of giving up and sinking into the darkest of depressions, his inner science emerged with full force and a brilliant idea echoed in the interior of his brain.
picked one of the many tears I shed every day and prepared to analyze under a microscope, hoping to find in her the secret of their suffering. "Maybe some sights hormone, or any foreign substance ...", he thought. "Something that I provide a clue to follow looking for ... "
And the largest and most prestigious of all the scientists put his tear on glass microscope tray and began to watch closely. Increased the size of the drop all the lenses will allow, but not found what you wanted. "Water ... Just water ... salt water ...". He could not see anything unusual in tears, nothing can explain the torment ... "But something must have!" Shouted the scientist, and decided to stay there, his eye glued to the microscope, without taking his eyes off that damn tear ... until they found something. That was all afternoon, and when the night was in his lab, like a statue, without eating, without drinking, without moving from there ... without departing from the microscope and their tears ... but still did not find anything. Nublársele the light began to be felt extremely dizzy ... but did not remove the eye of the lens. Not only was the largest and most prestigious of all scientific. It was also one of the most tenacious ...
It happened after a whole afternoon and a bit of night, our scientist felt to faint, and then had the feeling that his body slipped through the viewfinder of the microscope as water often does the neck of a bottle ... experienced a rapid decline that tickled her stomach, and saw the tears coming, and approached as if he were rushing towards her. The decline became more and faster, until the scientists do not know if it went up or down, or where he did, or where his feet where his head ... Then went through what looked like a thick wall made of sea water, and that water was so cold that froze felt her heart and lungs, and that his whole body began to sleep undisturbed sleep, lulled by ice arms while still falling. And falling, falling ... and so continued to fall until finally stopped falling.
He opened his eyes y. .. Oh, what you saw! On his head was not the roof of his laboratory, and were not around their test tubes and watch scientists. He was inside a giant bubble that enveloped him as hemispherical dome, and soon realize that the place was so great ... His own tears!
How could that be possible? He had traveled into his own tears! But ... How? Began to look astonished the landscape that surrounded it. His tear was more abrupt and mountainous than I ever would have thought (because there are things that even the largest and most prestigious scientists think ever). Before him lay a landscape of mountains and hills of the same blue color, with winding paths that emerged from them or down the valleys. Jutting cliffs here and there with the most curious. The whole place looked like a carved lapis random and capricious a child's hand, and was bathed in a dim light that filtered through the walls of salt water from the bubble and the blue painted reliefs with reflections from the water.
Impressed with his eyes wide open, our friend began to tour the site. "My colleagues in the scientific circle will be reluctant to believe this," she thought as she admired the fanciful shapes. Some trees seemed sapphire, others were like hammers that threatened to fall apart ... And everywhere flying green bubbles and transparent if they were birds.
walked rapidly, feeling cold, very cold ... and soon he could see far away, on a small hill, something shiny. Decided to go to that place and when he had gone some time, realized that that which shone on the hill was a huge and luxurious crystal palace. A glass palace, with its turrets, with its windows, with its beautiful domes ... What was a crystal palace in tears? Determined to find out, went on his way up that hill, and once there realized that it was in the center of the drop, surrounded by blue mountain scenery, which was displayed to the end of the bubble in all directions.
crossed a sumptuous garden made entirely of glass. Glass trees, glass flowers, glass sand ... and reached the main gate of the palace. The palaces of glass have a curious thing: From the outside you can see all the rooms. It happened like that, standing before the great portal, the scientist saw the central hall of the palace. There, on a carved altar seemed bohemian glass, stood a chest made of pearls and diamonds.
Determined to close the chest, our man crossed the threshold of the door and headed for the central hall leaving rooms and hallways clear crystal. Light rays crashing into the glass walls and turned into beautiful rainbow. After opening many doors and turn many corners finally came to the room safe, and she expected a beautiful woman who seemed made of glowing vapor, such as glass in a gaseous state. "Welcome to my palace," the feminine silhouette, and our man was paralyzed with astonishment, because this woman had the sweet voice of his dead wife!
- Who are you? - The man asked, with curiosity and fear.
- I am part of your tears - said the gas lady - everything you see here has come from within. You have showered us with your tears.
- But ... How is it possible? - He asked himself the largest and most prestigious scientists - What makes this building in my tears?
- In each tear there is something like - said the woman - all have a crystal palace or a castle, or a small house ...
- But ... Why?
- This palace is guarded and protected the heart of tears - she said the sweet voice of his wife lost, pointing with his hand ether mysterious chest in the room.
- That is the heart of the tear? - He asked, looking at the box - What does that mean?
- The heart of a tear is the most important part. It is what gives life to tear, making the tear whatever it is. Not all tears are the same ... There are tears of sadness and tears of joy, tears of despair and melancholy ... and there are empty tears that have nothing to express, simply run away our eyes in a neglect of the soul ... All this is enclosed in the heart of the tear. Every tear is a different world, different from the others ... There are two tears alike, no two identical hearts. In each tear there is something different, because they are enclosed the souls of the feelings that cause them, and feelings are like the sea and rivers, which are always moving and are never the same in an instant and in another.
- then I need to open that box and see what's inside - said the scientist.
- Nothing can stop you - she said - but I advise you do not. It can be very dangerous to enter the heart of a tear.
But he made no case that advice. It had before it the secret he sought, and did not think he had nothing to lose ... So I went to the altar by a staircase made of glass, took a deep breath and opened the lid of the chest with determination.
Like a whisper that grows little by little, began to come out of the box a nice sound reminiscent of the melodious laughter of a child. It was a clean and pure laughter, as the virgin spring water. A smile was profiled in the face of our man ... And the laughter began to grow, becoming more audible ... and as it grew was transformed into a bitter and sad tears, the cry of a being tortured ... The tears filled her anguish and her hair stood on end ... He was crying begging pity not expect to find ... and grew more and more, reaching every corner, pounding on the walls of the room ... Then the tears of sadness and despair became gradually more acute suffering, crying in a most painful ... and the cries of pain over bursting into a scream ... Never heard a scream ... a cry that even the most ruthless of torture would be able to boot of a human heart ... a cry that cracked the walls of the Crystal Palace ... Our man also shouted ... cried like he had never done ... but no one heard ... because there was nobody to hear ... and the truth is not heard nor himself, for his miserable cry was buried by the sound of breaking glass one million non-stop, a waterfall of broken glass in his ears ... Also came from the chest cold. Very cold! A breath of ice ... This will be confused at a concert macabre. Screams, cries, moans, groans, shrieks, howls of pain, crystals that explode and break into pieces, coarse, icy winds, pleading voices, hearts that beat too torn by strong, children screaming through the darkness to tear my throat. Nooooo! Weak and emaciated faces with expressions of perpetual suffering, eyes that they need help, livid hands trying to grab something to save them to an eternal fall. Noooooooo! A whirlwind of horror to pass before your eyes and ears punished. Visions and noises coming out of that trunk as the Evil of Pandora's box. Our man, contorted with pain and broken by fear, he struggled to overcome his fear and took a look inside the chest. The bottom of the box was a mirror. Only God knows what the scientist saw it, but had to be something truly terrible, as his face took on a ghostly pallor and his feet left to hold it for a moment, and he fell down the stairs of the altar. Filled with terror, stood up and started running towards the exit of the palace, retracing every aisle, across the doors as fast as your feet will allow ... and while fleeing, listening to how he chased the shouting, the cries, the cries ... and how they finished behind broken walls and glass ceilings.
When he finally left the palace through the main door, woke up on a chair in his laboratory, awash in sweat and heart beating wildly. Opposite him, in his desk, was the microscope, with that damn tear placed on the glass tray as a harmless water drop. With a sudden movement, an instinctive ... threw the microscope to the ground with his hand to tear himself away. The terror was reluctant to leave him. I could still see, hear, taste, feel ... all those ghosts. Damn tear! Damn heart of tears!
looked again at the small drop, resting on the floor next to the microscope ... A shiver ran through her body ... and then decided that no no tear! should take heart. "The world would be much happier if the tears were no more than water. Saltwater ...". An idea began to take shape in his head. "If tears were just water ... a simple mechanism for protecting the eye from foreign little bodies ... heartless ... lifeless ... without horror ...". And the idea of \u200b\u200bforming finished. Decided to undertake a scientific crusade against tears. Sought to find a way to kill them, leaving them without a heart ... And the world would be happy, as no doubt it was a day long ago, before the tears come to life.
And with these thoughts, with the willful decision of having a mission, the scientist returned to his books and his test tubes, and went to investigate ... again ...
got tears in children and adults, the elderly and animals ... and subjected to all sorts of tests, trying to kill them. So he worked incessantly for many days, barely eating and barely sleeping. When she fell asleep on the table had nightmares that drove him forward. And still ...
did quite acceptable reciting treatises on logic to the tears. Then he recited treaty classical grammar and writing guides for journalism ... and the tears began to fade, as if they lost their lives. Our man was scoring these reactions in your notebook. He also experimented with civil law books and "The Keys Sociological Human Behavior" by Thomas Young ... The tears were weakened when they heard things like that ... He wrote in his notebook ...
When he had enough data, linked all the results of their experiments using a mathematical formula and obtained an equation as logic, was able to destroy the tears and turn them into water, but ... How?
He spent an entire night studying the equation, and realized that it could get a set of musical notes, musical notes and these were a melody ... And that song would kill to tears, I was sure ... Because that song was a little applied logic, and some civil law, and some grammar ...
wrote a score with the calligraphy of a deranged anxious, and the next morning put one hundred tears the table in his laboratory. One of them was hers. He sat before them with a violin and with the score ... and began to play that tune ... It was a monotonous melody, dead ... and made it sound as noticed the tears were starting to die. All but one ... Less than yours ... because their tears were born of his soul and knew the secret ... Her tears were immunized. All other tears were running out of heart, and became plain water. But his no ... Her tears were still there, alive, bright, challenging ...
however, had to admit that the experiment had been a success and could not suppress a "Eureka!" and a welcome break. Then he realized what it all meant. If you gave the world what he had discovered would become a lonely penitent, a shadow in the middle of the rainbow ... Would be doomed to mourn alone, to live with her tears of joy in the midst of other men, no one can understand their pain, but himself ... He collapsed to his knees on the floor. His immortal tears flooded her eyes and her cheeks burned ... Then he thought of his wife and their children ... Then he remembered the crystal palace, and the casket of pearls and diamonds ... Then paraded through his mind all that was inside of the box ... And he knew he had to rid the world of all that, though he had to pay for it the highest prices, but the fruit of his gift to the world was the loneliness, misunderstanding, pain ...
"You have broken my heart," said the scientist. "Now I shatter yours. I swear that when you finish doing what I'm doing will not return any of you born with a heart ... Except mine ...", he said with a sigh. "Except mine ..."
And he turned to get down to work. How do I get to get their holy melody around the world? I could not deliver the melody to other men and reveal his secret. Then it would not work, the tears of everyone immunize ... He thought for five days, walking back and forth in his laboratory, and finally came to mind a great idea. "It will be difficult," he thought "but work."
That day came for the first time in a long time the street and bought large amounts of various metals and foreign material. He shut himself up with all this in your home and manufactured gear and whimsical pieces that had previously designed with great precision. Once all the pieces were made, put them in twenty sacks and went with them to the top of the world's highest mountain. There he assembled them all and built them a huge music box. A music box ready to sound the melody that murdered the tears and get it to anywhere in the world as a murmur imperceptible, but steady ... The box was designed to spin their gear almost forever, longer than you could last man on Earth ... and our friend also addressed that, once ignited, would have no way to stop it. Thus wanted to ensure that in the future (perhaps when it no longer existed in the planet), but discovered some unwelcome music box do not turn off accidentally, causing tears to return to silence.
and our men fired its engine. The music began to emerge with a slight jingle and the winds fanned out all over the world. He stood a moment contemplating his invention ... your wonderful invention ... and then turned and descended the highest mountain in the world to see the results of their work.
nobody knew acclaim. I knew that people would cross the street and could not even suspect that he was the cause of her joy, but he knew he had done the right thing and that was enough ... I knew that from now all the laughter of all men and women lead in his very own. That was the best way you could acknowledge what he had done for them, laughing, being happy ...
This was our man thought when he reached the nearest town ... And then for the first time since he turned his music box, he saw people ... And a sense of disappointment came over him ... Because that People were sad, but he was not happy ... Actually it would be more correct to say that those people were not . I looked through their eyes and could see nothing beyond them, as if they were empty ... as if their bodies were pouring hole, as if their souls had become extinguished embers.
walked through that city and was more horrified when he opened the heart of his tear. Saw people pass him, but did not like people. They talked, they moved ... but did not express anything. Did not feel anything ... His words were born dead ... and no singing, no whistling, no laughing, no smiling ... A car ran over a boy near him. The child died without complaining. The mother also complained. Just looked at the remains of her son and then the driver of the car, with indifference ... "I'm terribly sorry," the driver said with a deadpan tone as he throws a lesson learned by rote, and drove to the next light, where he stopped to wait patiently until the light turns green.
Our man ran blinded by madness. What had I done! What folly had made! Crashed with glass of a nursery. Within the children could see. No play, no pictures, not amused ... They were just there. They just exist. A boy raised his head and looked into my eyes ... and the look of that child was expressionless as that of a corpse. His eyes were two graves, two torches off ...
and our scientists continued fleeing. He left the city and came again, almost without realizing it, to the mountain that had just come down ... and first step, then another, upload it again with an effort to reach the top again. There was waiting for his monster of metal, sounding the melody. The music of his invention seemed to speak to him, saying: "You have given me a life, but I've made a death." And the scientist regretted not having put in that damn thing a button or a lever to stop him.
He went to the box and climbed to the top of the same building on a rock. He opened the lid and saw the evil gears turning, twisting ... squeeze to silence the musical notes one after another ... And then he knew what he had to do. Was placed standing on the edge of the box, muttered to himself the name of his wife, recalled his sweet voice and her sweet eyes ... And she threw herself into the music box, between the gears.
gears began to slow down, breaking their bones, until it stalled. The melody stopped ringing. Our man, dying, he heard the sound of wind and birdsong ... and knew he had returned to the world what he had taken. Died shedding a tear of joy, and while dying he thought: "Who could reach the heart of this tear!"
order
1999
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